And Show It Goes...

Friends, our cabaret show, Noah's Very Unusual Insight, is finally over!  It was fun to do but also a lot of work, and I am WAY glad to be able to move on to other things.  I feel like the new year hasn't really gotten underway yet!

We had great audiences both nights, and as you can see, we really perfected our synchronized hand choreography! 



Last night there was a real live critic in the audience (the professional kind).  Hopefully he'll be forgiving.

In non-showbiz-related news, today I'm having brunch with my friend Johanna and Rachel, and believe me, I'm going to get on Rachel's case about neglecting her blogging duties.  Evidently we'll be stopping at Paron's and I guess we'll see if there's anything left to buy there before they make the big move to 39th Street.  (It sounds like other bloggers got the good stuff.)  I haven't been fabric shopping all year, so maybe I'll indulge, though you know me,  I like to shop solo (and preferably in a putty nose and buck teeth disguise).

What else?  Our DSL service has deteriorated so badly of late that we've decided to spring for cable Internet, and -- get this -- it's actually going to be cheaper.  When I told someone recently that we still have DSL, they actually laughed at me.  It was humiliating.

That's all, folks.  I'm exhausted, and we've been hosting Michael's sister who flew in for a visit from L.A.  Sara is a high-end consignment store fanatic and went on a major spree yesterday.  Here she is in her new Galliano vest, stretch jeans, and Rag & Bone shoes.  I would show you her new Prada pumps but with my DSL in its current state it would take another hour to upload the photo.  Maybe tomorrow.



Happy Sunday, everybody!

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The Ugly Truth

 

Readers, think about it: when's the last time somebody really unattractive became famous?  Newt Gingrich?  He's been around awhile.  John Belushi?  He's been dead for decades.

It may be hard to believe, but in the early Nineteen-Thirties, comic actress Marie Dressler, already over sixty and with the face of an English Bulldog, was THE number one Hollywood box office attraction, which she remained until her death at sixty-five.  Watch an old movie of hers like Min and Bill or Dinner at Eight and you'll immediately understand why.  She was a powerhouse.



Do you remember Margaret Hamilton?  No beauty, she.  But Hamilton was one of the most beloved character actresses in Hollywood history, due primarily to her role as the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.   (Parenthetically, isn't it spooky that she looks like the fraternal twin of co-star, scarecrow Ray Bolger, who was equally lacking in the looks department and even more popular than she, despite it?)

 

 

Both movies and television used to be teeming with, frankly, funny-looking women: Martha Raye (pictured up top), Ann B. Davis, Alice Pearce, Thelma Ritter, Kay Ballard, Imogene Coca, Alice Ghostley -- the list goes on and on.  Even some huge stars like Carol Burnett started out playing ugly ducklings and goofballs.

Kay Ballard

Alice Pearce as Gladys Kravitz on "Bewitched"

Alice Ghostley (Another "Betwitched" alum)

The young Carol Burnett

These actresses made a name for themselves based on their looks as surely as Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly did.  But these were women (primarily though not exclusively) who were not afraid to take their middle-of-the-road (or worse) looks to exaggerated extremes for comic effect.  They looked like people we really knew and we loved them for it.  Perhaps we didn't project our romantic fantasies on them, but they made us laugh and they made us cry.

Marjorie Main

Thelma Ritter

To some extent, this has been true for men as well.  So many beloved stars like Jimmy Durante, William Demarest, Jackie Gleason, and W.C. Fields were either fat, old, bald, or some combination thereof, and it made no difference.  Like a beloved uncle or grandfather, we took these funny-looking men to heart.  And they weren't all comics: think Edward G. Robinson or Charles Laughton.

William Demarest, Uncle Charlie on "My Three Sons"

It seems like today, we're surrounded by pretty faces.  Our media-saturated environment rarely makes room for the unattractive.  Even when an actor or actress becomes famous as a fat person -- think Jennifer Hudson, Ricky Lake, Star Jones -- they quickly drop weight faster than a high school wrestler.  Even Oprah has exploited her own weight problems to become the living embodiment of the Cinderella fantasy, albeit with quite a few bumps along the road (and she's exploited those too).

Television shows like Extreme Makeover and The Swan have been fixated on turning people with so-called physical flaws into pageant contestants.  As a culture, we seem to have few problems with extremes of economic inequality, but if a poor girl has a weak chin, by God, she deserves a chance in life!  (At least to look gorgeous at her high school reunion)

Of course, many funny-looking female comics have played right into this make-over obsession, becoming poster-children for radical plastic surgery: Phyllis Diller, Roseanne Barr, Kathy Griffin, Totie Fields (and the winner is...Joan Rivers!).   It's remarkable when you think about it.  Women comics may make a career out of knocking their looks, but given half a chance, off to the cosmetic surgeon they go.  Thoughts?

Remember when Roseanne Barr looked like this?

It's different for men, of course, though, obviously looks matter.  Still, there's plenty of room for a jowly Donald Trump or an octogenarian Regis Philbin on prime time.  

Its easier for men for one reason, I believe.  Heterosexual men are biologically hard-wired to seek out women who display the (youthful) traits associated with beauty, among them soft skin, thick hair, perky breasts, and shapely butts.  (This is all about sex and propagation, folks.)  While some historical eras have embraced heavier female bodies, the fixation on youthful women transcends culture, geography, and historic time.  Old women may be venerated, but they aren't desired like young women are.

Why else could Andy Rooney age naturally on 60 Minutes when Barbara Walters is expected to look eternally fifty-something-ish on every news show she appears on?  (She's eighty-two.)



 

Even female politicians like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are made over and expected to be knockouts.  Where's the female equivalent of the Basset Hound-faced Ron Paul, I ask? 

I don't read a lot of blogs, but Sally McGraw's Already Pretty is one of my favorites.  Sometimes reading it, however, I'm struck by how hard it seems to be for so many women to feel good about their bodies and the way they look in general.  Young men may be obsessed with building muscles or comparing their sexual endowments, but men have nothing like Already Pretty (can you imagine a blog called Already Handsome?), or the scores of womens beauty and fitness magazines, diet books, and the like.

Perhaps it's time we restored our appreciation for the homely among us.  Maybe they have something to teach to us about self-acceptance, putting our looks in perspective, and having the last laugh.

In closing, do you agree that we seem to have less tolerance for unattractive people these days?  Is it harder today for someone who's not pretty or handsome than it was, say, a few generations ago?   Are we the same, but the media environment has changed?

If you're from a country other than the United States, are things different where you live, or would you say that beauty, and trying to look beautiful, is as much a cultural obsession there as it is here?

Does the same double standard between men and women exist?

Jump in!

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Vogue Pattern Winner + Recent Acquisitions!

First, friends, we have our winner of V2787, the glamorous 1948 Vogue repro pattern!

She's a lover of savory vegetable pot pie made with barley and red lentils who uses butter in her pastry, put your hands together for SONDRA!



Sondra, please shoot me an email (peterlappinnyc at gmail dot com) and I'll get your pattern off to you ASAP.  Congratulations!

Meanwhile, readers, you may be wondering what else has been going on in my life.  I've been a little distracted preparing for our upcoming show this Friday and Saturday, so I haven't been doing any sewing to speak of, and yes, I know it's been nearly a month now.  One must recharge one's batteries, though, and I think I may need a complete new set.

So far this year I have been very good about shopping on eBay, or rather not shopping on eBay.  In fact, only last night I decided that of all the things I need right now, a Dritz needle board is not one of them.  Even second hand those things are expensive!

I did buy a DVD the other day, however.  I've been anxious to see O'Mast, the documentary about Neapolitan tailors and tailoring, for nearly a year now.  Have you seen this short clip from the film?  It looks marvelous. 


O'MAST from Kid Dandy on Vimeo.

Anyway, there have been a few screenings in NYC, but I've missed them all, so I decided to treat myself to my own copy.  It should arrive shortly and I'll let you know what it's like.

You may also be wondering about my new Claire Shaeffer Couture Sewing Techniques Workshop DVD.  I received it last week and will have more to say about it in a future post.  In brief: I loved it and who knew there were so many kinds of hand sewing needles?

Readers, do you remember this sparkly fabric I bought last summer?



I finally found the pattern for it, which I picked up for just a few dollars on Etsy the other day.  It's very Diane Von Furstenberg meets Halston with a twist of Liza, don't you think?  (I'll be making the pants version.)



Of course, I could have cobbled this look together using patterns I already own, but since I'm giving away a pattern today, I figured I could make room for one more.  Does that make sense?

Finally, I bought a book (I know, I know...), Lynda Mayard's The Dressmaker's Handbook of Couture Sewing Techniques.



I am hoping this will be a sort of intermediate-level book for those who want to do more hand sewing, but aren't entirely ready to give up their serger.  It's spiral bound, so that's exciting.  We'll see what it's like...

Readers, that's it!

Are you familiar with the Maynard book?  How would you compare it to Claire Shaeffer?  I'll have more to say about why I'm buying all these couture books...as soon as I figure it out myself. 

Anybody out there thread tracing their seam lines?

Happy Wednesday, everybody!

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Pattern Stash Confessions, Part 2 + Pass the Pie!

Readers, I was stunned -- stunned -- to discover how many MPB readers are simply nuts about pie!

And speaking of pie, many of you are probably wondering what kind of pie I like.  I'll be brief(ish):  While I enjoy a savory shepherd's pie from time to time (I am fortunate to live near the extraordinary Myers of Keswick grocery store, which offers a vast selection of fresh, savory English pies daily), pie to me remains primarily a sweet dessert.

A homemade pie made with fresh ingredients is almost always a pleasure to eat.  I loathe artificial sugar substitutes and prefer my pie served alone rather than laden with whipped cream, swimming in melted ice cream or dripping with molten cheddar cheese.  A lemon meringue pie, not too sweet, is a marvelous thing, especially if the meringue is mile high and slightly toasted on top.

I love cherry pie, especially with sour cherries, but I find this kind of pie is often made with inferior canned cherries and has a soggy crust.  Whole Foods makes a decent cherry pie, not to-die-for but not bad for store bought.  Nothing beats a delicious slice of fresh apple pie, but I've found that apple pies often have thick, leaden crusts, and the apple filling is not sufficiently baked (I don't want applesauce, but I like my apple pie juicy), or there is too much cinnamon.  Less is more.  Same goes with sugar -- not too sweet, please.  While I do like pecan pie, it's usually too sweet, or too full of Karo syrup and not enough pecans.

Finally, in autumn, nothing is more delicious to me than pumpkin or squash pie.  I prefer mine light, not too sweet, and slightly chilled.

My goodness, what a pie snob I've become!  Come to think of it, I prefer cake.  Let's move on.  You have till midnight EST tonight to throw your hat in the ring for the Vintage Vogue pattern I'm giving away, and you don't have to mention pie at all.   

Today, I finally documented my men's pattern stash!  Readers, I own roughly one hundred men's patterns (every time I count I come up with a slightly different number).  Scary.





Here's a bit of pattern shopping advice: never buy a "lot" on eBay.  You will always end up with many more patterns than you want and/or need.  (There's a reason why they call it a lot.  Maybe they should call it too much.)  I made this mistake just once and ended up with a boxful of roughly thirty patterns, half of which were the wrong size and should be given away -- but to whom?





Men's patterns are, of course, much less varied than women's patterns and frankly, less fun.  I've used a pretty wide variety considering how similar my finished projects ended up looking.  I don't think anyone needs more than one pajama pattern, for example, provided it includes a nightshirt.  There are slight differences in men's patterns: princess seams on a shirt, unusual pocket placement, epaulets, bell bottoms instead of straight leg, Western style shirt yokes, etc., but it's still mostly pants and shirts.





I've created a Picasa file of my men's patterns as I did for my women's patterns, and have included shots of my completed projects immediately after the pattern used.  In some cases, you'll see more than one project if I used a particular pattern multiple times.  I won't say this is everything I've sewn for me and Michael, but almost.  It's a biggish file so you might want to save it for after dinner, perhaps accompanied by pie!

As always, you can view these pics full size by clicking on any one, which will take you directly to Picasa, where you can scroll through at your own pace or watch it as a slide show.



I love having an archive I can access easily, and I'll be adding to it as I continue to sew. 

I'll bet many of you have at least a few of these patterns, am I right?  As you can see, I have all the Seventies patterns anyone could possibly want, in a wide variety of sizes just in case I puff up in the next few decades.  I think as far as men's patterns are concerned, I am done. 

Question: Why would anyone bother to sew a man's tie?  Good gracious, the thrift stores can hardly give them away.  Am I missing something?

Have a great day everybody!

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National Pie Day, our SECOND anniversary + Vogue Pattern GIVEAWAY!

Friends, it gives me great pleasure to announce that today, January 23rd, is National Pie Day -- but that's not all!

Today is also our second anniversary here at MPB.  That's right, folks, on this day just two years ago, Male Pattern Boldness was born.  Today we're walking, talking, and nearly toilet trained!



Just like last year, the cables, cards, and flowers have been arriving nonstop from so many celebrities and friends around the world, including --

Mae West



Miss Barbara Stanwyck



Dr. Lorna Gallo (soon to be seen in the uproarious Noah's Very Unusual Insight)



The surviving cast members of Petticoat Junction



And so many more.

As has become a tradition here at MPB, I have a very special pattern giveaway for you on this very special day.  It's the beautiful Vintage Vogue repro 1948 pattern, V2787, in a (contemporary) size 12-14-16 (34", 36", 38" bust).  The pattern is complete and uncut.

Isn't it dreamy?



Can you name these two lovely bloggettes in their own versions?





MPB readers the world over are eligible for this giveaway, and all you have to do is leave a comment below.  Please share your favorite kind of pie, most inspiring MPB moment of last year, or just let off steam. (If you want to say hi but don't want the pattern, just let me know.)

As always, our staff are here for you, and qualified clinical social workers are standing by.*

You have until Tuesday (tomorrow) midnight EST to enter, and I'll announce the winner on Wednesday.

I wish all of you a very Happy Second Anniversary -- please have a slice of pie on me.

Have a great day, everybody!



*MPB is not liable for any illness, injury, disability or death attributable to your existing physical condition or any deterioration in the same, nor responsible for any loss, claim, damage, or any direct, incidental or consequential damages of any kind which arises out of or is in any way connected with your use of this website.

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Pattern Stash Confessions, Part 1

Help.

Readers, as you know, I am always trying to organize myself better.  In the last six months, I have discarded many unnecessary household items.  I dust my Ken dolls regularly.  I even started sorting my wigs!  Today I decided it was time to revisit my pattern stash, starting with my women's patterns.

What a wake-up call: I have more than a hundred women's patterns -- slips, coats, robes, gowns, jumpers, blouses, suits, swimwear -- everything but maternity.   I only started sewing in June 2009; at this rate, I'll need a storage locker by the 2015.

Readers, please believe me when I tell you that before I counted, I had absolutely no idea how big my stash was.   I just knew it was getting too big for the credenza shelves where I store them.  Many of the patterns in my stash I purchased, many others (more than half?) were given to me.  I've given away quite a few in turn, but somehow, I never seem to make much of a dent in my collection.  Once I own them I find it hard to part with them -- do you know what I mean?

A recently acquired favorite.

Someday I will conquer my fear of faux fur.

I decided to archive them this afternoon in a Picasa file, so that I could sort through them quickly.  What has happened a number of times is that I'll almost purchase something I already own.  That would make me very unhappy.

I'm ambivalent about a button-down evening gown.

Always nice when a pattern comes with a message!

My collection starts in the mid to late Twenties and ends in contemporary times.  (A few downloaded BurdaStyle patterns aren't included.)  You may notice a larger number of patterns from the Forties and early Seventies, but I think I have pretty much every period covered.  Notice any conspicuous absences?  Maybe the mid-Eighties Gunne Sax...

You can view my stash in the slide show below.  If I made a particular pattern, you'll see a pic immediately after it of Cathy in the outfit.  You can click through to the Picasa file itself to see the patterns full size.  They are in approximate chronological order.



I am certain nearly all of you own at least one of these.

Readers, I must ask: how big is your pattern stash?  If you purchase vintage patterns, do you buy them to use or to collect, or both?  I never wanted a collection per se, and I only purchase patterns I hope to make.  As you can see, I have a lot of work ahead of me!

In closing, friends, do you have a rule about the size of your stash --like when you get to a hundred, you refuse to add more till you've gotten rid of some of the others, or does your stash just get bigger, and bigger, and bigger?

How many patterns do you own: Too few?  Just enough?  Too many?

Confess!

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Clothes Shopping for Men vs. Clothes Shopping for Women

BREAKING NEWS, FEMALE  READERS:  I get it.  

I mean, I really get it.  I now understand why women sew.

I owe this epiphany to a recent article on the Cracked.com website, The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes, by Christine H.

You must read it and tell me whether or not you agree with her arguments.  A few of her points were familiar to me, like arbitrary (vanity) sizing, but others I had never thought about before, like her complaint that the fabric is often too thin, or the garment inappropriate for cool weather (or a cool office) due to the amount of skin left exposed.

I'm going to tell you something you probably already know: clothes shopping for most men is so easy you could do it in your sleep, or certainly from a catalog.  There are two basic reasons for this: 1) traditional men's clothing is always available, and  2) it does. not. change.  Or if it does, the changes are so slight and rolled out so slowly, that only if you're wearing a sweater from, say, 1947, do you notice that knit waistbands were a little wider back then, or that ties were somewhat wider (after having been narrower, which followed immediately upon their being wider, narrower, wider, narrower, etc.).  Maybe I exaggerate, but my basic point is valid.

For example, whether we're talking Goodwill or Nordstrom, you can always find some version of the following items:

Khaki pants.



A light blue button down oxford shirt.



Penny loafers.



A gray crewneck wool sweater.



A classic field jacket.



Too conservative?  Dress it down with Converse All Stars.



If you're sportier still, you can wear an Adidas tracksuit almost anywhere these days.



Traditional types can opt for a leather bomber jacket, available today at L.L. Bean as it has been for decades.



For more formal occasions, a blue pinstripe suit.  Always in fashion. 



Readers, the list goes on and on, and you can wear these clothes from eight to eighty and beyond.   If you want to dress exactly like Humphrey Bogart did in Casablanca, you don't have to hunt in a vintage clothing store.  If a gray-flanneled Gregory Peck is more your style, you can create that look too, easily, hat and rep tie included.





Men's clothing is basically a uniform, and has been for more than a century.  There's the business uniform, the preppy-casual uniform, and the sporty uniform (probably a few others too), but whichever one you choose, you don't have to be creative or up on the latest trends.  Just go to most any department store or thrift shop.  So easy.  You may not look like you stepped out of GQ magazine, but you won't raise any eyebrows either.  You'll just look...normal.

Now let's take women's clothes.  I did a little casual research (the only kind I do) and searched for women's dress in Google Images.  Here's what I found scads of (these three are from J. Crew but they're typical): skimpy "party" dresses I don't think most women could wear to work.  In fact, other than dinner out in a warm climate (bring a sweater as most restaurants are air-conditioned), I'm not sure where you'd wear these dresses.  Any ideas?







Based on recent comments regarding fashion trends, it sounds like some seasons there simply are no basics -- navy skirts or simple gray slacks -- available for women.  (Is this true even at L.L. Bean?)

As far as women's shoes are concerned...eek!



In closing, readers, why do you think men's clothes never change?  Is it because most men aren't interested in fashion, or are most men not interested in fashion because men's clothes never change?

With regard to The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes, are there any other baffling things you'd like to add?

Enlightenment sought!

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