The Ugly Truth

 

Readers, think about it: when's the last time somebody really unattractive became famous?  Newt Gingrich?  He's been around awhile.  John Belushi?  He's been dead for decades.

It may be hard to believe, but in the early Nineteen-Thirties, comic actress Marie Dressler, already over sixty and with the face of an English Bulldog, was THE number one Hollywood box office attraction, which she remained until her death at sixty-five.  Watch an old movie of hers like Min and Bill or Dinner at Eight and you'll immediately understand why.  She was a powerhouse.



Do you remember Margaret Hamilton?  No beauty, she.  But Hamilton was one of the most beloved character actresses in Hollywood history, due primarily to her role as the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.   (Parenthetically, isn't it spooky that she looks like the fraternal twin of co-star, scarecrow Ray Bolger, who was equally lacking in the looks department and even more popular than she, despite it?)

 

 

Both movies and television used to be teeming with, frankly, funny-looking women: Martha Raye (pictured up top), Ann B. Davis, Alice Pearce, Thelma Ritter, Kay Ballard, Imogene Coca, Alice Ghostley -- the list goes on and on.  Even some huge stars like Carol Burnett started out playing ugly ducklings and goofballs.

Kay Ballard

Alice Pearce as Gladys Kravitz on "Bewitched"

Alice Ghostley (Another "Betwitched" alum)

The young Carol Burnett

These actresses made a name for themselves based on their looks as surely as Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly did.  But these were women (primarily though not exclusively) who were not afraid to take their middle-of-the-road (or worse) looks to exaggerated extremes for comic effect.  They looked like people we really knew and we loved them for it.  Perhaps we didn't project our romantic fantasies on them, but they made us laugh and they made us cry.

Marjorie Main

Thelma Ritter

To some extent, this has been true for men as well.  So many beloved stars like Jimmy Durante, William Demarest, Jackie Gleason, and W.C. Fields were either fat, old, bald, or some combination thereof, and it made no difference.  Like a beloved uncle or grandfather, we took these funny-looking men to heart.  And they weren't all comics: think Edward G. Robinson or Charles Laughton.

William Demarest, Uncle Charlie on "My Three Sons"

It seems like today, we're surrounded by pretty faces.  Our media-saturated environment rarely makes room for the unattractive.  Even when an actor or actress becomes famous as a fat person -- think Jennifer Hudson, Ricky Lake, Star Jones -- they quickly drop weight faster than a high school wrestler.  Even Oprah has exploited her own weight problems to become the living embodiment of the Cinderella fantasy, albeit with quite a few bumps along the road (and she's exploited those too).

Television shows like Extreme Makeover and The Swan have been fixated on turning people with so-called physical flaws into pageant contestants.  As a culture, we seem to have few problems with extremes of economic inequality, but if a poor girl has a weak chin, by God, she deserves a chance in life!  (At least to look gorgeous at her high school reunion)

Of course, many funny-looking female comics have played right into this make-over obsession, becoming poster-children for radical plastic surgery: Phyllis Diller, Roseanne Barr, Kathy Griffin, Totie Fields (and the winner is...Joan Rivers!).   It's remarkable when you think about it.  Women comics may make a career out of knocking their looks, but given half a chance, off to the cosmetic surgeon they go.  Thoughts?

Remember when Roseanne Barr looked like this?

It's different for men, of course, though, obviously looks matter.  Still, there's plenty of room for a jowly Donald Trump or an octogenarian Regis Philbin on prime time.  

Its easier for men for one reason, I believe.  Heterosexual men are biologically hard-wired to seek out women who display the (youthful) traits associated with beauty, among them soft skin, thick hair, perky breasts, and shapely butts.  (This is all about sex and propagation, folks.)  While some historical eras have embraced heavier female bodies, the fixation on youthful women transcends culture, geography, and historic time.  Old women may be venerated, but they aren't desired like young women are.

Why else could Andy Rooney age naturally on 60 Minutes when Barbara Walters is expected to look eternally fifty-something-ish on every news show she appears on?  (She's eighty-two.)



 

Even female politicians like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are made over and expected to be knockouts.  Where's the female equivalent of the Basset Hound-faced Ron Paul, I ask? 

I don't read a lot of blogs, but Sally McGraw's Already Pretty is one of my favorites.  Sometimes reading it, however, I'm struck by how hard it seems to be for so many women to feel good about their bodies and the way they look in general.  Young men may be obsessed with building muscles or comparing their sexual endowments, but men have nothing like Already Pretty (can you imagine a blog called Already Handsome?), or the scores of womens beauty and fitness magazines, diet books, and the like.

Perhaps it's time we restored our appreciation for the homely among us.  Maybe they have something to teach to us about self-acceptance, putting our looks in perspective, and having the last laugh.

In closing, do you agree that we seem to have less tolerance for unattractive people these days?  Is it harder today for someone who's not pretty or handsome than it was, say, a few generations ago?   Are we the same, but the media environment has changed?

If you're from a country other than the United States, are things different where you live, or would you say that beauty, and trying to look beautiful, is as much a cultural obsession there as it is here?

Does the same double standard between men and women exist?

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Eyebrows-a-palooza or "We're Plucked!"

Friends, I would love to write the definitive eyebrow blog post today.  I fear this won't be it, but rather a somewhat scattered stream of consciousness on this highly alterable facial feature.  It's such a rich topic.  Almost everybody has eyebrows.

Those born with bushy brows wish they had less; those born with skimpy ones wish they had more.   Of course, my primary focus today is the female brow -- it's just more fun.  Men's brows will just have to wait (Sorry, Zac Efron).

Eyebrows are one of the most expressive parts of the human face.  They shoot up to express surprise (unless you're pumped full of Botox, that is).  They furrow to reflect concern or confusion.  They can communicate terror, lust, rage -- the full range of human emotions, and some inhuman emotions as well.

But why does brow fashion change -- and it does change often -- again and again and again?

It's easy to explain changes in clothing trends, which reflect the fashion industry's need to get the public to buy more clothes.  Of course there are other factors involved in changing fashion, like new technologies (stretch fabrics!), greater need for comfort and practicality (women in the workplace!), and a breakdown in central authority (Who cares what Paris thinks we should be wearing?!).  But how do you explain shifting eyebrow trends?  It's a puzzlement.

As with most things fashion-oriented, Hollywood both set the trends and reflected them.  Think how closely some of the stars below were associated with their eyebrows.

Clara Bow's narrowly penciled brows were all the rage in the Twenties.  They were long and low.

Pencil-thin brows continued to be popular into the Thirties, but drawn higher than in the Twenties (think Jean Harlow).

Marlene Dietrich boasted some of the highest eyebrows in Hollywood.  Not for the shy.

Joan Crawford, who changed her look constantly throughout her long career, had dramatic eyes that demanded a strong brow.  But there's strong and there's massive, and as Joan grew older, her brows got bigger, darker, and scarier! 

The highly stylized Dietrich/Harlow look got softer as the Thirties wore on. When Ingrid Bergman came to America just before WWII, she was a fresh-faced, natural brow trendsetter.

Lana Turner was said to have had no real brows at all after an early MGM plucking, and had to draw them in with every film.  As a teen starlet, Lana's brows look natural.  As her image got more glamorous in the 1940's, so did her brows.

Judy Garland started out with natural-looking eyebrows, which grew more and more stylized and weird, much like Judy herself.

Something unusual started happening in the 1950s: women's brows got heavy.  Liz Taylor  and Audrey Hepburn could pull this look off -- barely -- but on most women these dark, dramatic brows looked bizarre.

Queen of the Bushy-brow is Brooke Shields.  Her early Eighties look still startles, imo.

Setting aside Hollywood, let's not forget Frida Kahlo, the Mexican painter arguably more famous today for her monobrow than for her artwork.

Friends, there's so much more to say about eyebrows, and I invite you to say it!  What do you think about shifting trends in eyebrows -- where do they originate?

What about your brows?  Are they plucked within an inch of their life, drawn high in the middle of your forehead, or bushy as a lumberjack's mustache?

How about the controversial "chola brow"?  Too much, even for Sandra Bullock?

Who's your eyebrow icon (eyebrow-con?).  Jump in!

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On Male Beauty

Readers, do you subscribe to the belief that a man can be too good-looking?

I was reading an excerpt from Rob Lowe's critically-acclaimed autobiography, "Stories I Only Tell My Friends" recently, and he believes that his good looks kept him from having the kind of film career in his youth he had hoped for.  Indeed, it's easy to believe that Rob's beauty could have been an obstacle.  (The modified mullet and shark tooth earrings weren't doing him any favors either.)



There are lots of different kinds of good-looking men (as there are different kinds of good-looking women) but the kind of good looks that seems to cause the most trouble, not only for the man himself but, if he is an actor, for his audience too (keep reading), are the ones considered "pretty."

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that makes a handsome man pretty, but we know it when we see it.  Tyrone Power is a classic example of this phenomenon, and based on what I've read about his life, he suffered for it, both professionally and personally.



Power died young after a life of considerable self-abuse.  He was only in his mid-forties -- and considerably less pretty.



When you think about the most popular male movie stars of classic Hollywood cinema, they're generally not the best looking (and this holds true for the women as well, imo: think Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, Claudette Colbert) -- the more rugged actors held on the longest and are best remembered, men like Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Spencer Tracey.





Some actors started out as beauties -- Gary Cooper and John Wayne come to mind -- but aged rapidly into rugged-looking, craggy-faced heroes worshiped by men and women alike.





A lot of this "curse of the beautiful male" thing has to do with homophobia: there's a sense that a beautiful man is likely to be homosexual or -- due to his almost feminine looks (long lashes, bright, light eyes) -- not sufficiently masculine.  Americans like their men to look like men.  Actually, I think it's that heterosexual American males like their heroes to look more rugged for fear of being labeled homosexual themselves.  It's all a bit headache-inducing.

Of course, the fact that many beautiful male actors are now known to have been -- or consistently rumored to be -- gay (or its mid-Twentieth Century equivalent), doesn't help matters.  Tyrone Power, Montgomery Clift, and the late Farley Granger come to mind.  Even in the gay male community, many put a lot of value on being "straight-looking," i.e., traditionally masculine.  (Clifton Webb need not apply.)

What is a beautiful man supposed to do?  Facial hair seems to help -- or does it only call attention to precisely the features they're trying to hide?  (Think Johnny Depp and Zac Efron.)





I've often read that teen idols are usually of the pretty type because young girls find them less sexually threatening (subconsciously, of course).  This would apply to everyone from Troy Donahue to Ricky Nelson (remember him?) to Justin Bieber.

When these teen fans grow up, however, they prefer Clark Gable.

Friends of the man-loving persuasion, how do you like your men?

Do you have a preference for the iconic strong, silent type?  Are you uncomfortable around a man who might be considered prettier than you are?  Do you have nothing but empathy for Joanne Woodward (who wasn't exactly homely but she was no Paul Newman)?



Are you suspicious of a man who's too good looking, either because you think he's likely to be stuck up, or the constant target of the attention of decorators, florists, and male sewing bloggers?  (And he might like it.)

Can a man be too beautiful?

Jump in!

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