Men in their Underwear

WARNING: The following post deals with adolescent themes.  Anyone over the age of 18 should be accompanied by a child.
Friends, on this cold winter Sunday, rather than talk about the serious topic of sequined pantsuits, I thought I'd discuss something lighter, skimpier -- practically bare.



How do you feel about the gratuitous display of men in their underwear in advertisements?  Do you care at all?  Are you of the opinion that what's good for the goose is good for the gander or some such poultry-related adage? 

Do you think these ads target women who shop for men, men who shop for themselves, or something else entirely?



Late last week, I looked north out of my living room window and discovered this brand new painted billboard just blocks from my apartment.



Let's have a closer look.





I certainly wasn't shocked (it replaced another ad for H&M, a woman in her bra), but I did have a moment of Oh.  Not Oh as in Wow but rather Oh as in Uh huh.  Can you hear the difference?

Two things.  Haven't we already seen David Beckham in his underwear recently, for Armani?  If those briefs were good enough for him then, why is he hawking his own line now? 





Also, $14.95 for a pair of underwear is not cheap by any means, especially for a store like H&M.  I once owned a pair of H&M underwear and while they were cute (colorful boy-style briefs), the Spandex in them made me sweat.  Spandex in underwear may be flattering on a billboard ad or in the locker room, but in real life it's hot. 

Parenthetically, I recently stumbled upon this vintage pattern, Simplicity 5417, on Etsy, and I thought to myself, Who was sewing men's bodysuits in the Seventies?  I mean, a jumpsuit I get; this I don't get.  Why would anyone want snaps down there.  Can't you just tuck your shirt in your pants and call it day? 



Speaking of days, I must get on with mine, but I would love to know the following:

In general, do you like to look at men in their underwear?  Do these kinds of ads make you want to purchase underwear for a loved one or -- if you're a guy -- for yourself?

On some level are you thinking maybe in David Beckham's underwear, Somebody might look a little more like David Beckham (or at least David Beckham photoshopped to porn star perfection)? Isn't that the point?

Finally, Spandex in underwear: Too hot and clammy for the nether regions?

Enquiring minds want to know!

Ka-Ching!

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REVEALED -- Men's Fashions Most-Endangered List!

Readers, today's MPB Guy Week post will no doubt spark controversy.  Nothing lasts forever, even in the relatively stable world of men's fashion.  I categorize most the garments below under "Going, Going, Gone," and store a few in my heretofore top-secret "Good-bye and Good Riddance" folder.

I share them with you today gladly, but please note: if you or someone you love is still hanging onto and arguably enjoying one of the following garments, please exercise compassion: men's emotional connection to tatty old garments that have outlived their usefulness is complicated.  In some instances an intervention by a healthcare professional is not only warranted but also necessary.

So here goes.

 

Friends, once again we must make an example of the very quirky, very something Thom Browne (yes, that Ice Follies nightmare is one of his creations).  Sock garters, if you've never heard of them, were once worn by men to keep their socks up.  They also tended to cut off circulation to one's feet. They fell out of favor for one obvious reason: the invention in the late Fifties of synthetic stretch fibers like spandex, which tolled the death knell for so many fashion favorites.  Let's grieve and move on.

Perhaps you or your man likes to indulge in a puff of tobacco now and then.  Once upon a time this was a pastime enjoyed by a majority of men and women but alas, no longer.  So it should come as no surprise that the beloved smoking jacket is going, going, gone. 

I don't doubt that there are a few fashion eccentrics out there who will cling to their smoking jackets and I say live and let live.  Next!

I am the proud owner of many a vintage bow tie and I actually know how to tie one.  But is there any doubt that these are relics of another era, a time when men also wore....

and...

The last time I saw spats, a bow tie, and a straw hat on a man, I was watching Fred Astaire in Ziegfeld Follies.  If you're interested, you can actually purchase these items (separately of course) on Amazon.  If not quite gone, soon to be forgotten.

Next!

On their way out, at least outside the UK, where traditional men's fashion is a fetish, are suspenders, or as they're also known, braces.  Like sock garters, these no longer serve a purpose for men who don't aspire to dress like Edward VIII.  Worn with jeans and Doc Martens they only look scary and let's face it: clip-on anything is always a little cheap looking.

Finally, friends, we have the most controversial choice of all and I don't mean synthetic wigs.

I predict that in a generation or two, no one outside the BDSM community will recognize a jockstrap.

This embarrassing knit accessory has long outlived its usefulness, as today we men have a plethora of sports garments made of miracle space-age fabrics which will more effectively support, caress, and protect our cherished male parts.  I have never seen a jockstrap on a man in the gym under 60.  Guys who play basketball or run generally wear things like this:

Jockstraps will no doubt always have their place, just as lace garter belts, french maid uniforms, and serving-wench bodices continue to have theirs.  But these are costumes, my friends.  If you, male reader, are unable or unwilling to part with your jockstrap, I pray I have not incurred your wrath.  Please don't shoot the messenger.

It seems we're out of time and I haven't even covered tie clips or toupees. Oh, well!

What do you think, wise male readers and the women who love them -- am I right or wrong about these endangered garments?  Is there anything you think should be on this list but wasn't included?  "Wife beaters" or acid-wash jeans, perhaps?

More specifically, what are your thoughts about jockstraps, if you ever do have thoughts about jockstraps and who doesn't, if only in a fever dream?  We don't judge here at MPB and all views are welcome.

Jump in -- well-supported, of course!

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Boxers and Y-Fronts and Thongs, Oh My!

Good morning, readers,  and welcome to Day 1 of our First Annual MPB Guy Week.  

Please do not confuse Guy Week with Man Month.  Brilliantly talented Shelley is offering four weeks of substance; I am offering one week of fluff.  There's a huge difference but I hope you will support us both.

And now, speaking of support...

WAIT -- I haven't told you: GUESS who I saw at the Chelsea flea market yesterday morning.  If you guessed Catherine Deneuve, you'd be CORRECT!!!  OMG, you guys, I couldn't believe it -- there she was perusing a pile of vintage linens not two feet in front of me.  It was all I could do not to break into a chorus of "Watch What Happens."  Obviously I'm not the type who would ever intrude on a celebrity's privacy or snap a photo or anything -- I hate when people do that to me -- but it did give me a thrill and I just had to tell you about it.  She looked great considering Belle de jour has seen a lot of jours, let's face it, but I should talk, right?

And now back to Guy Week.

Friends, men have lost a lot over the last few decades: steady union jobs, wages that could support an entire family, the respect of their children, sock garters, and so much more,  BUT what we've gained is the widest selection of mens underwear ever before offered in the history of mankind!

Check out the underwear section of even your local Army Navy and you'll be confronted by a gazillion varieties of mens scanties all featuring soft-porn-inspired photos of the kind of men none of us are likely ever to see wearing them.

The history books want to lay responsibility for all this at the feet of Calvin Klein, who raised a lot of eyebrows -- among other things -- in the early Eighties with this advertising campaign for what now look like rather staid white briefs but back then seemed scandalous.

In those days the only photos most of us had seen of men in their underwear were in the Sears catalog, all air-brushed to a Ken doll smoothness.  Unless you read something like After Dark magazine, of course, in which case you'd seen a lot more of everything -- this was not porn, btw.

Most long-time MPB readers have already seen me in my underwear, but with increased public attention has come greater modesty, so moving forward I'm unlikely to pose in anything less than a Singer 66 treadle (plus I don't want to violate BurdaStyle's morals clause).   But then, this isn't about me in my tighty-whiteys.  It's about you, you men out there, and you women who love them and buy underwear for them.  You need guidance and support -- or rather, he needs support and you need guidance.

So let's get down to business.

Friends, there are two kinds of men.  The ones that need a lot of support and the ones that need a little.  I won't tell you which kind I am but given my quick wit and big personality you can probably guess.  Believe me when I say I see this as a blessing -- I can wear anything...or nothing at all.  Think Jane Birkin.

Like most little boys, I grew up wearing white Y-front briefs, and it wasn't until I was in my late Twenties that I ever considered anything else.  The preppy boom in the early Eighties brought back the popularity of the cotton boxer but I really didn't wear boxers until considerably later than that.  It just seemed like a lot of fabric to have to stuff into your Levi's.  By this time briefs had gotten as brief as they could go; it made sense that the pendulum would swing the other way (as it were).

Y-front briefs (or just briefs without the Y-front) were still something special for my late baby boomer generation; boxers were what one's father wore.

When briefs were introduced, they were initially all about support and fitness, not sex appeal.

Obviously, knit fabric is going to hold things in more snugly than woven fabric.  The question is: how much "support" does one truly need in a pair of underwear?  This is not a brassiere; most men don't want to lift and separate -- just the opposite.  Needless to say, underwear will neither make you fit nor keep you fit.  But it should fit, on you and into your pants.

I wear both briefs and boxers (not at the same time of course) but my sense is that today most younger guys (under 30) wear boxers only, based on what I see in the locker room and glimpse on the neighborhood sagger guys -- which is ironic, because the only time you really look good in briefs is when you're young. 

Now I'm sure many of you younger readers are wanting to ask, Peter, how about sperm count?  Don't briefs make you less fertile?  I truly believe this sperm count/tight underwear myth was perpetrated by some desperate advertising copy writer on the Brooks Brothers account.  I simply refuse to believe that underwear affects sperm count.  Anyway it's not like there aren't enough people in the world.

As a home sewer, one of my very first projects was a pair of boxers and I initially had high hopes of making Y-front briefs with McCall's 3438 but I never did. 



If you'd like to see what's possible, however, check out Brian of BrianSews' pubic, I mean public underwear gallery.  NSFW and please don't loiter inappropriately.  Creative, no?

I did make these vintage boxers, however.


 

I really haven't made any underwear since.  Frankly, underwear is one of those things I'm not very fussy about.  I don't like the really cheap Dollar Store stuff and I don't find brands like Hanes and Fruit of the Loom very soft.  To be honest, all my best underwear comes from the thrift store and before you say Ewww, a lot of guys will buy the wrong size and then give it all away unworn -- or practically.  I may be a scavenger but do I have my standards; I don't think I've bought new underwear in a store for four or five years.

My, how time flies!  It's time to wrap things up.

But wait -- how about thongs?

Friends, the less said about thongs the better.  They are tacky, tacky, tacky, and I hope that doesn't sound judgmental.  Please memorize either (or both) of these simple rhymes: A thong is always wrong, and/or the somewhat more pointed, No thongs for shlongs.

You won't make the thong mistake ever again.

Last and least: the dance belt.

This is a photo of a dance belt seen from the back.  Do not put this on backwards as it will lift and separate. 

Obviously, a dance belt is a thong for a male dancer.   It keeps everything in place and avoids VPL.  These generally come in S, M, L, etc. and go by waist size.  They have Spandex in them so they stretch but can sometimes run skimpy and should not be put in the dryer.  If you're buying one for yourself or someone else, call the store and ask about sizing.   They come in padded and non-padded.  The padded ones are more for ballet, where you might only wear a leotard over it, or for those who like to live large.

In closing, I ask you: men, do you agree with what I have written?  If not, please share your underwear preferences and explain them to us (keep it clean).  Do you find it difficult to find the comfort and/or support you need throughout your daily activities? What kind of activities are we talking about (he he)?

Women with men in their lives: what kind of underwear do they wear?  Do they let you buy it for them?  Have they ever criticized your choices or styles, colors, or prints?  Have you ever dropped off a pile of practically new, unworn rejects at your local Salvation Army and can you alert me next time you do?

Any more underwear-related comments/questions?  Please phrase requests for advice, Dear Peter....

Have a great day everybody and don't forget to change your --- you know!

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Peter Revisits His First Sewing Project

Good morning, everybody, and Happy Day of the Dead to those (living) who celebrate it.  I don't know about the weather where you live, but here in New York it's getting cold.  Almost too cold for a velveteen jacket.

As you can see, I've been slowing introducing my new jacket to the outside world and so far, so good.  I do notice that it doesn't go especially well with the blue of my jeans but I do like it with mixed plaids.



Readers, if I start to look like one of those Japanese kids on Harajuku Street, you will tell me, won't you?

You don't even have to say it explicitly -- a simple "!" will suffice.  I am definitely getting more confident about mixing patterns and it's a slippery slope to the Hello Kitty lunchbox and embellished Uggs.

Readers, I'm not one to linger in the past, but occasionally I will happen upon something that reminds me where I was at a certain moment in my life and, consequently, where I am now.  Does this ever happen to you?

I don't know why I was digging through Michael's underwear drawer -- boredom? -- when I happened up these.



Sentimental MPB followers and lurkers, those gingham boxers were my very first sewing project, which I made in June 2009.  Aren't they pretty?

I made them using Diana Rupp's book, Sew Everything Workshop.  It's a project called Foxy Boxers and Rupp's book comes with the actual paper pattern included (among many others).  I always recommend this book for beginners because it's so good on the basics and very stylish.





Trust me when I say I had no idea what I was doing and no familiarity with sewing terms when I took on this project.  It took me about three days to finish them (I'm not kidding).  And as pretty as they are on the outside, inside they're a bit of a mess.

Let's take a look at the inside fly.  I still don't understand how I ended up with this huge inside flap.



Or why I didn't clip this seam to help the fly opening lie flat...



Forget about overcasting seam allowances.  Today they're all fraying.



Below, on the inside back seam, you can see I was stitching a second seam in zig zag, but a) the tension was too tight on my machine, and b) I never cut the seam allowance down to the stitching line.  So despite zigzagging the seam allowance there's all that fraying.



Here's another area of yuck, where the leg and side seams intersect.



To my credit, the waistband casing came out pretty well.



And despite everything, I am still proud of them, and will promptly re-bury them in Michael's bureau.

I thought it was useful to take a fresh look at those boxers because I was reminded that you really can't go from A to, say, K, without passing first through B, C, D, E, F, etc.  The only way to learn is to make mistakes and then figure out what went wrong.

If you don't have someone nearby to ask, you can ask questions on Pattern Review or take a look at a RTW garment of the same type and see how it's constructed.  That is something that never occurred to me while I was making those boxers.  I had a dozen boxers I could have examined to help me figure things out.  But that was something I had to learn too!

Readers, the week ahead is a big one, ending in my brother's wedding.  But more importantly, I am hoping I get my 1969 McCall's pattern in the mail.  And look at the photo I found online yesterday: Yves Saint Laurent Spring/Summer collection, 1969.

Do womens sewing patterns today reflect current fashion trends as immediately as they used to?  I wonder.

In closing, friends, do you ever go back and revisit old projects and recognize the progress you've made?  If you don't, you should.  Now I understand why Michael complained about getting tangled up those boxers -- it's dangerous in there!

Have a great day, everybody!  What are you working on?

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