Clothes Shopping for Men vs. Clothes Shopping for Women

BREAKING NEWS, FEMALE  READERS:  I get it.  

I mean, I really get it.  I now understand why women sew.

I owe this epiphany to a recent article on the Cracked.com website, The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes, by Christine H.

You must read it and tell me whether or not you agree with her arguments.  A few of her points were familiar to me, like arbitrary (vanity) sizing, but others I had never thought about before, like her complaint that the fabric is often too thin, or the garment inappropriate for cool weather (or a cool office) due to the amount of skin left exposed.

I'm going to tell you something you probably already know: clothes shopping for most men is so easy you could do it in your sleep, or certainly from a catalog.  There are two basic reasons for this: 1) traditional men's clothing is always available, and  2) it does. not. change.  Or if it does, the changes are so slight and rolled out so slowly, that only if you're wearing a sweater from, say, 1947, do you notice that knit waistbands were a little wider back then, or that ties were somewhat wider (after having been narrower, which followed immediately upon their being wider, narrower, wider, narrower, etc.).  Maybe I exaggerate, but my basic point is valid.

For example, whether we're talking Goodwill or Nordstrom, you can always find some version of the following items:

Khaki pants.



A light blue button down oxford shirt.



Penny loafers.



A gray crewneck wool sweater.



A classic field jacket.



Too conservative?  Dress it down with Converse All Stars.



If you're sportier still, you can wear an Adidas tracksuit almost anywhere these days.



Traditional types can opt for a leather bomber jacket, available today at L.L. Bean as it has been for decades.



For more formal occasions, a blue pinstripe suit.  Always in fashion. 



Readers, the list goes on and on, and you can wear these clothes from eight to eighty and beyond.   If you want to dress exactly like Humphrey Bogart did in Casablanca, you don't have to hunt in a vintage clothing store.  If a gray-flanneled Gregory Peck is more your style, you can create that look too, easily, hat and rep tie included.





Men's clothing is basically a uniform, and has been for more than a century.  There's the business uniform, the preppy-casual uniform, and the sporty uniform (probably a few others too), but whichever one you choose, you don't have to be creative or up on the latest trends.  Just go to most any department store or thrift shop.  So easy.  You may not look like you stepped out of GQ magazine, but you won't raise any eyebrows either.  You'll just look...normal.

Now let's take women's clothes.  I did a little casual research (the only kind I do) and searched for women's dress in Google Images.  Here's what I found scads of (these three are from J. Crew but they're typical): skimpy "party" dresses I don't think most women could wear to work.  In fact, other than dinner out in a warm climate (bring a sweater as most restaurants are air-conditioned), I'm not sure where you'd wear these dresses.  Any ideas?







Based on recent comments regarding fashion trends, it sounds like some seasons there simply are no basics -- navy skirts or simple gray slacks -- available for women.  (Is this true even at L.L. Bean?)

As far as women's shoes are concerned...eek!



In closing, readers, why do you think men's clothes never change?  Is it because most men aren't interested in fashion, or are most men not interested in fashion because men's clothes never change?

With regard to The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes, are there any other baffling things you'd like to add?

Enlightenment sought!

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On Male Beauty

Readers, do you subscribe to the belief that a man can be too good-looking?

I was reading an excerpt from Rob Lowe's critically-acclaimed autobiography, "Stories I Only Tell My Friends" recently, and he believes that his good looks kept him from having the kind of film career in his youth he had hoped for.  Indeed, it's easy to believe that Rob's beauty could have been an obstacle.  (The modified mullet and shark tooth earrings weren't doing him any favors either.)



There are lots of different kinds of good-looking men (as there are different kinds of good-looking women) but the kind of good looks that seems to cause the most trouble, not only for the man himself but, if he is an actor, for his audience too (keep reading), are the ones considered "pretty."

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that makes a handsome man pretty, but we know it when we see it.  Tyrone Power is a classic example of this phenomenon, and based on what I've read about his life, he suffered for it, both professionally and personally.



Power died young after a life of considerable self-abuse.  He was only in his mid-forties -- and considerably less pretty.



When you think about the most popular male movie stars of classic Hollywood cinema, they're generally not the best looking (and this holds true for the women as well, imo: think Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, Claudette Colbert) -- the more rugged actors held on the longest and are best remembered, men like Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Spencer Tracey.





Some actors started out as beauties -- Gary Cooper and John Wayne come to mind -- but aged rapidly into rugged-looking, craggy-faced heroes worshiped by men and women alike.





A lot of this "curse of the beautiful male" thing has to do with homophobia: there's a sense that a beautiful man is likely to be homosexual or -- due to his almost feminine looks (long lashes, bright, light eyes) -- not sufficiently masculine.  Americans like their men to look like men.  Actually, I think it's that heterosexual American males like their heroes to look more rugged for fear of being labeled homosexual themselves.  It's all a bit headache-inducing.

Of course, the fact that many beautiful male actors are now known to have been -- or consistently rumored to be -- gay (or its mid-Twentieth Century equivalent), doesn't help matters.  Tyrone Power, Montgomery Clift, and the late Farley Granger come to mind.  Even in the gay male community, many put a lot of value on being "straight-looking," i.e., traditionally masculine.  (Clifton Webb need not apply.)

What is a beautiful man supposed to do?  Facial hair seems to help -- or does it only call attention to precisely the features they're trying to hide?  (Think Johnny Depp and Zac Efron.)





I've often read that teen idols are usually of the pretty type because young girls find them less sexually threatening (subconsciously, of course).  This would apply to everyone from Troy Donahue to Ricky Nelson (remember him?) to Justin Bieber.

When these teen fans grow up, however, they prefer Clark Gable.

Friends of the man-loving persuasion, how do you like your men?

Do you have a preference for the iconic strong, silent type?  Are you uncomfortable around a man who might be considered prettier than you are?  Do you have nothing but empathy for Joanne Woodward (who wasn't exactly homely but she was no Paul Newman)?



Are you suspicious of a man who's too good looking, either because you think he's likely to be stuck up, or the constant target of the attention of decorators, florists, and male sewing bloggers?  (And he might like it.)

Can a man be too beautiful?

Jump in!

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FASHION POLICE 101 or "How to Tell Someone You Love You Hate Their Outfit"

So I have this friend...

Hold it right there, I know what you're thinking: this is the oldest plot device in the book, used in every third episode of The Brady Bunch.  This is not about Cindy's friend, it's about Cindy.

I am shocked at your disbelief, readers, shocked.  Next, you'll be telling me that I don't have an identical cousin, when that rumor has been put to rest again and again, and again.

But back to my friend.

He's not the most stylish person in the world -- in fact he's something of a slob -- but he does know what goes with what, and has been a follower of fashion for many, many decades.

Now, the man he shares his life with is arguably much neater than he. But it's the what-he's-neat-with that's the problem.

You see, the partner of my friend has a tendency -- some might say a  compulsion -- to wear clothes that are alternately too large (baggy twenty-year-old pants), or too tight (think former Olympic gymnast Mitch Gaylord), or too something (over-bleached acid-wash jeans)  And while there's nothing wrong with mixing patterns occasionally, said mixing requires a great deal of care and skill, and an eye, readers, an eye -- or so my friend believes.

The problem my friend has is what to do about his admittedly-judgmental-sounding opinions.  You see, he believes -- with good reason, it turns out -- that his partner will sometimes intentionally mismatch patterns or otherwise dress provocatively, solely to push my friend's buttons.  He (the partner) told him (my friend) as much!

My stylish-if-slobby friend, in contrast, happily solicits others' advice and is open to receiving it, never interpreting it as threatening or challenging or nobody's business but my his own.

Stylish and sophisticated readers around the world, have you ever found yourself in my friend's cute-if-scuffed shoes?  If so, how do you handle it?

Some of you will say that if you love someone, as I know my friend does his partner, that you accept them as they are, end of story.  Some, perhaps with a few years of psychotherapy under their belt, might even argue that the problem is my friend's and only my friend's.  He is the one who is seeking to control another by criticizing his partner's choice of outfits -- never a healthy strategy in any relationship.

Some might say, moreover, that personal style is entirely subjective and that what my friend thinks looks unflattering on his partner, others will find just the opposite -- that there's no objective truth to what looks good and what does not, beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz.

Then there will be other more empathic souls who know that adults who dress themselves poorly need guidance and are only inviting the criticism of others.  Better that the loved one offer constructive criticism in private than a stranger his 2-cents in public.

In closing, readers with no-doubt highly-honed, read-between-the-lines abilities,  I ask you:

Should you tell someone you love you don't like what they're wearing (with the confidence that you know what you're talking about) or shouldn't you?

How do you handle giving advice to someone you love, when no advice has been solicited, and it might make them feel criticized?

Or if you don't give unsolicited advice, do you just keep quiet, offer (at most) a none-too-subtle, up-and-down look of dismay and leave it at that?  Do you ever ask if the person is open to your opinion, knowing full well that the very question suggests disapproval?

I need guidance -- to share with my friend of course.  Crimes are being committed.

Jump in!

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Awesome New Men's Patterns!

Readers, I can't talk about lace and taffeta for one more day without puking wedding invitations.  Instead, I want to talk about guy stuff. 

I was shopping online for patterns last night when I came across these incredible new men's pattern lines.  I can't wait to make the cute plaid shirt up top and the pea coat below center.  And how about that great messenger bag!



Then, from a different pattern company, I found this classic chambray shirt with shorts:



And these colorful summer pants, vests, and jackets:





Wait -- did I mention I was dreaming?  I'd dozed off right there on Etsy!

I woke up and was reminded of the grim reality:

His and her fleece.



Boxy jackets to wear over said fleece.  (Note how this is categorized: "Sleepwear, Unisex, and...Men.")



Scrubs -- they're not just for orthopedic surgeons and dental hygienists!





Unisex pajama bottoms in novelty flannel from Jo-Ann Fabrics.



Roomy shirts perfect for the all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet at Shoney's.



Elastic waistbands for same.





And people wonder why more men don't sew.

Let's give credit where credit is due: German Burda is ahead of the game.  This jacket is cute-ish.



Then again, Burda is also responsible for this.  I shudder.



Friends, how difficult would it be for a pattern company to come up with some cool patterns?  We're not reinventing the wheel here: we're talking pants, shirts, a vest, a jacket.  Style it to look hip, hire a model.  Don't make him pose next to a six-year-old mini-me.  Can you see the difference?





Seriously.  I can't speak for every guy or woman who sews for guys, but I would be thrilled to have patterns for some of the outfits posted here which, by the way, are from J. Crew and Woolrich Woolen Mills -- nothing avant-garde, no men in corsets or Pee Wee Herman suits.  Explore any fashion magazine or men's style blog and this is the kind of thing you see.

Both Land's End and LL Bean both have "hip" fashion lines using the same fabrics and styles their main brand uses but cutting them and styling them in a more contemporary (read slimmer) way.  Why can't pattern companies do this?

I'm not one for rants and I do understand the economics involved.  But there's a potential market out there of young men who care about how they look and they can't all draft for themselves or bother tinkering with vintage patterns.  Are we investing in the future or aren't we?

Readers, what are your thoughts about this?

How can we make this happen?

Jump in!

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